Posts Tagged ‘desire’

It’s a question that has vexed me for years and, as I find the gap between the end of my last relationship and the current time growing ever wider, the fact that I still don’t know the answer (and at my age too!) worries me even more!  So exactly how do you know when you’ve found the right person?

Ironic really – in my last (and first) long term relationship one of the reasons I fell for the guy was because I could imagine us together forever – don’t ask me how! It was just a feeling I had!  And yet we split up. I’ve never really had that feeling about anyone else since.  But how can I trust my own feelings when they turn out not to be true?! Maybe I’m missing out on a great relationship because I want this illusive ‘forever feeling’ that I think in my heart is an indicator of love but actually has no bearing on how a relationship will work?!

People often quote the ‘it’s a short life therefore you have to make the most of it’ comment in support of two opposing theories.  Ie, don’t waste time searching for the perfect man, life is short so enjoy the time you have with someone nice. But also don’t settle for someone who isn’t your perfect match – life’s too short to spend it with someone you don’t feel passionately about!  When I think of my life to come it terrifies me, in equal measures, to imagine being alone as it does to imagine being with someone.  What if I end up with someone who isn’t right?  What if I make a mistake? What if I waste even more of my life on someone who’s not the one?  How do I know if someone’s right for me?  What if I never have another partner?  What if I don’t go out with someone because i’m not sure if they’re right for me and then they end up with someone else and I realise I’ve made a mistake?

What if I’m alone for ever and ever?!

We’re all sold this beautiful picture of love and romance by books and movies – they make us want to feel the passion and magic that these fictional characters all seem to experience but we forget that most of these stories come from dreams and desires, not reality!  Honestly, I sometimes wonder if my habit of watching rom com’s and reading ‘chick lit’ has permanently damaged my ability to experience love as a normal human being!

Well, I’ve decided that my motto for this year is going to be ‘Do Something Different’ so maybe I should apply that to men and relationships as well?!  Singledom is all very well but it’s nice to have some variety! 2012 look out – I’ve decided this is going to be my year of plenty!!

Stressed to be pressed…

Posted: August 17, 2010 in Blogging
Tags: , , , ,

WordPress.com is a great site! I love it even though I haven’t really got time to do it! But I’m getting increasingly obsessed by Freshly Pressed and what it could do for my as yet unestablished blog. I learnt very quickly that getting chosen for Freshly Pressed is deemed the pinnacle of success for serious WordPress.com bloggers, bringing potentially thousands of new viewers to a blog and an opportunity to see your Blog Stats go through the roof! It just proves how lazy we all are of course – in just two clicks you could be reading a post which has reached the dizzy heights of pressing, deemed interesting, quirky or funny enough to be fresh. No need for searching or trawling through tags – that’s what makes it so successful of course. We humans will mostly go for the easy options!

Anyone who writes a blog and says they don’t really mind if nobody reads it is lying!! And if they’re not then they should be writing a diary – that way your thoughts will be kept secret, at least until you die! If you want to write and be heard (or seen!) then you blog. Simple. And if you blog you really (with a passion) want people to not only read your posts, but to like your posts and to comment on your posts. It’s that desire for the buzz of acceptance, of popularity – whatever you call it, most of us seek it. It’s a bit like being on stage, hearing the audience clap and cheer you at the end of the evening – there’s nothing like it! Apart from perhaps seeing hundreds of lovely comments on your blog post….!!!

So the question is; how do you get your blog noticed and ultimately onto freshly pressed? Is it enough just to keep your fingers crossed and hope for the best? Or should you spend hours coming up with sharp, eye-catching titles as well as readable / amusing / clever posts? Given the sheer number of posts made every day the chance of getting onto Freshly Pressed must be fairly low! I look on Freshly Pressed all the time and have seen some really good posts. It amuses me that the ones I enjoy and aspire to be like are often very removed from my writing style – clearly my aspirations are way above my station! But the great thing is that they’re all so different which in itself makes it hard to try and catch attention as there is clearly no one formula. The worst thing is that I read them and simply despair that my posts will ever be good enough to be noticed and I am doomed to remain a frequently unread blog, baring my soul to no-one!

There is a lot of good advice out there, on other blogs ironically enough, on how to be a successful blogger and so far I’ve had some success with following a few of the golden rules. I guess the main thing is to enjoy what you write, keep writing and don’t worry about it too much.

And if you can’t be Fresh at least try not to be stale!