For Ever and Ever…..

Posted: January 8, 2012 in Blog, Blogging, Life, Relationships
Tags: , , ,

It’s a question that has vexed me for years and, as I find the gap between the end of my last relationship and the current time growing ever wider, the fact that I still don’t know the answer (and at my age too!) worries me even more!  So exactly how do you know when you’ve found the right person?

Ironic really – in my last (and first) long term relationship one of the reasons I fell for the guy was because I could imagine us together forever – don’t ask me how! It was just a feeling I had!  And yet we split up. I’ve never really had that feeling about anyone else since.  But how can I trust my own feelings when they turn out not to be true?! Maybe I’m missing out on a great relationship because I want this illusive ‘forever feeling’ that I think in my heart is an indicator of love but actually has no bearing on how a relationship will work?!

People often quote the ‘it’s a short life therefore you have to make the most of it’ comment in support of two opposing theories.  Ie, don’t waste time searching for the perfect man, life is short so enjoy the time you have with someone nice. But also don’t settle for someone who isn’t your perfect match – life’s too short to spend it with someone you don’t feel passionately about!  When I think of my life to come it terrifies me, in equal measures, to imagine being alone as it does to imagine being with someone.  What if I end up with someone who isn’t right?  What if I make a mistake? What if I waste even more of my life on someone who’s not the one?  How do I know if someone’s right for me?  What if I never have another partner?  What if I don’t go out with someone because i’m not sure if they’re right for me and then they end up with someone else and I realise I’ve made a mistake?

What if I’m alone for ever and ever?!

We’re all sold this beautiful picture of love and romance by books and movies – they make us want to feel the passion and magic that these fictional characters all seem to experience but we forget that most of these stories come from dreams and desires, not reality!  Honestly, I sometimes wonder if my habit of watching rom com’s and reading ‘chick lit’ has permanently damaged my ability to experience love as a normal human being!

Well, I’ve decided that my motto for this year is going to be ‘Do Something Different’ so maybe I should apply that to men and relationships as well?!  Singledom is all very well but it’s nice to have some variety! 2012 look out – I’ve decided this is going to be my year of plenty!!

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